Full Carnal Knowledge
by callmeserena
Summary: "Dan was certain he was going to hell for this, but right now he was sure this had to be some form of heaven." AU 2x17. Smut.


**Full Carnal Knowledge**

**Rated M for smut, smut, and more smut! You've been warned.**

A/N: I'm back with more Dair smut. Yet again this is another great prompt from the Gossip Girl Kink Meme. But I think we can all agree this was mostly inspired by the HOT chemistry of DB in that scene.

Original Prompt: _Blair/Dan; during the scene when Dan confronts Blair about the Ms. Carr rumors in the girls' bathroom and Blair is pulling up her tights. Blair fucks Dan to distract him from her plots._

Reviews are always appreciated and I especially love reviews with your guys own prompts or prompts from the kink meme you want me to fill. Happy Readings!

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Dan could not believe Blair. Sending in a tip to Gossip Girl that he was hooking up with a teacher was completely unfair. He had gone to this incompetent school for years now and not a single teacher had shown even an inkling of the interest Rachel paid to his writing, so what if he appreciated that? So what if he spent more time with the teacher that was interested in his talent?

_This is a part of the downfall of the American education system_, Dan thought as he made a b-line to the girl's bathroom he knew Blair had set up base camp, _a teacher can't even do her job properly without someone thinking they're fucking their students._

Finally reaching the wooden door that separated him from the little brunette bitch, his hand easily found the door knob and turned. He stepped into the brightly lit room, the door slamming behind him. His eyes lifted to see the girl in question. Her back turned to him, her small hand wrapped around a pink lipgloss wand as she applied a shiny coat to her lips.

He saw her eyes roll before she turned to him. "The ladies room? I knew you and Serena were having problems, I didn't realize they were anatomical." A small smirk curled on her lips as she appraised him.

How could someone look so innocent yet so devious at the same time?

"The only reason I'm trespassing on sacred ground is because I know you sent that rumor to Gossip Girl."

"Sorry. No idea what you're talking about. You can go now." Her brown curls shock along with her head as she denied the accusation. She turned away from him towards where her purse sat waiting for her on the window seal bench.

His anger flared again at the obvious lie. Her words were saying one thing, but the look on her face and the tone of her voice were telling another story. She was proud of what she'd done! He decided right then and there he would take back every nice thing he'd ever said about her, obviously this girl was evil. "Whatever issues you have with Rachel she cares about people, she cares about her job."

Before grabbing her purse, she set her foot on the plush seat and started hiking her tights up. His eyes shifted on their own accord down to what she was doing and he almost chocked on what he saw. While seemingly innocently adjusting her tights, her small school skirt road up as well revealing a bright red thong hidden behind the shear black fabric. Did she really think he was that dense? He was 18 years old, he wasn't going to just forget about what she'd done because she flashed him her panties.

When his eyes traveled back to her face, he saw a mischievous look on her face before she started speaking again. "Oh, that is so sweet." She started moving closure to him. Once he noticed, every step she took forward, he took one back. "Maybe you should write a short story about it and have Rachel give you notes…" Suddenly he was trapped between her body and the door. His heart was beating wildly and his blood was pounding in his ears so loudly, he barely heard her next word. "…naked."

Her freshly glossed lips turned up into a sexy smile. _Oh god, oh god, oh god. _Blair Waldorf was definitely not seducing Dan Humphrey. He had a girlfriend! Said girlfriend being the best friend of the girl currently pressed against him. Doesn't this break some girl rule?

He knew he should push her off. Tell her to go fuck herself and try to rectify the damage this rumor had caused. As he willed himself the strength to walk out of there, her small hand reached around him towards the doorknob and his heart sank. She was just a little tease!

But instead of the door opening, he heard the soft click of the lock.

She brought her hands up to rest on his cotton covered chest, rubbing his pecks through the cloth. She tucked her lip behind her teeth as she watched him with hooded eyes. She knew she had him right where she wanted him and his hardening dick could attest to it.

Trying to regain some sense of control, he continued on with the conversation. "I know you don't care about anyone but yourself, but I'd actually feel a little bad if someone lost their job, or went to jail, because I had her reviewing some of my stories." Her hands moved down, lightly caressing his stomach. She obviously didn't care what he was saying, but she let him continue. "So, stop being such a god damn coward and send in another tip. This time with the truth."

"But see, I can't do that." When he was about to ask why her hand slipped from his stomach to the large bulge in his pants, cupping and caressing him. The words lost into a low groan, but she answered anyway. "If I did that, then the little corn husker will get away with giving me a B. And we can't have that can we?"

She continued her movements and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't muster up a reasonable response to her question. If she wasn't currently jacking him off, he'd probably tell her that maybe she deserved the B and if she didn't want such grades she should work harder instead of blaming her problems on other people, but she_ was_ jacking him off, so all that passed his lips was a drawn out moan.

"Can we?" Her hand stopped moving.

Eyes that he didn't even know he closed flew open and before he could stop it a breathy "no" escaped his lips. Instead of continuing her ministrations, Blair's nimble fingers pulled at his belt buckle, popped the buttons of his school khakis, and pulled the zipper down. Her small hand snaked its way into his boxers and grabbed onto his achingly hard cock. Her warm hand wrapped around it before it sprang free into the space between them, the cool air hitting him suddenly and a shiver ran down his spin while his cock jumped in her hand.

"Good answer." Blair winked before dropping to her knees in front of him.

Dan was certain he was going to hell for this, but right now he was sure this had to be some form of heaven.

His eyes followed her movements as she settled herself on the floor. Her hand lazily swept up and down him and he watched as a little droplet pre-cum seeped from the tip of his manhood. Her eyes locked on his as she swept for tongue over her lips. He thought he was going to die, or at least pass out, from sexual frustration, but then her pink tongue swept out of her mouth once again, but this time she licked the tip of his cock.

A loud groan escaped his lips and his eyes shut tight, every fiber of his body screamed for him to just cum on that pretty little face of hers. But he stayed in control, he knew this was a once in a lifetime situation, and he wasn't going to ruin it by coming early.

Finally her mouth opened and she took his bulbous tip into her mouth, her pink lips wrapped so tight around his dick he had to grab onto the door frame to keep from slamming himself all the way into her mouth.

His cock started disappearing further and further into her mouth, the rough side of her tongue zig-zagging the underside of his shaft. His hands found the chocolate curls he'd spotted earlier and gathered them in his fist.

"Fuck, Blair!" She moaned appreciatively at hearing her name and her lips started their journey back off his dick, her teeth scraping lightly at his sensitive skin and he was sure he could hold out much longer.

Her lips popped off of him and she used the mix of her saliva and his own natural lubricant to move her fist quickly up and down him. They stared at each other for a long moment. Desire and want radiating off both of their faces.

Then she broke the silence, "You wanna fuck me, Humphrey?"

Did he want to fuck her? Between her bedroom voice and hooded eyes and the wonderful things she was doing to his cock, he really only had one answer.

Instead of answering, he grabbed her by the face and brought her up to crash their lips together. Their tongues dueled for dominance as his hands found their way up her short little skirt and found the tops of her sexy black tights.

He pulled away from the kiss to pull her tights and that bright red thong down her shaking legs. They tangled around her knees and she had to pull them off the rest of the way herself, a small giggle escaping her lips as she did so.

When she was done they were kissing again. This time less rough, but with the same urgency as before. He needed to be inside her, right now!

He grabbed her thighs and lifted her up, her legs wrapped easily around his waist and they moaned in unison as her bare pussy made contact with his cock. He couldn't believe how wet she was already.

Setting her down on the sink, he quickly unbutton the first few buttons of her shirt. Moaning appreciate at her heaving bust, he kissed and sucked at the top of each breast. He felt her fingers dig into his hair, first they were pulling him closer and then they were pulling him back up to her mouth.

Their lips crashed just as Dan's hips moved forward and he sheathed himself inside her. The shock of him filling her so completely had her ripping her lips from his as she cried out into the empty bathroom.

His breath was coming out hot on her neck as his fingers tightened on her hips, he started to move inside of her slowly and cautiously. When she didn't protest, he started moving quicker and harder. Moans, cries, and expletives left both of their mouths as he continued to fill her.

When he was sure he was about to come, he was suddenly pushed away from her, he stumbled back in shock. But before he could say anything, she was steering his towards the bench. She shoved hard and he fell back onto his plush surface.

She had a self satisfied smirk on her lips as she moved to straddle him, her hips slamming down on his and they continued the familiar dance. He felt his orgasm looming, ready to break free at any moment.

He was still trying to comprehend how exactly it happened that he was currently fucking Blair Waldorf, when she bent down and latched onto his nipple. The mixture of biting and sucking, as well as her grinding hips, sent him over the edge.

They stayed connected for a few moments as their breathing returned to normal. Dan's body still randomly being assaulted by aftershocks of pleasure when she pulled herself off of him.

He watched dazedly as she picked her tights and panties off the floor and stuffed them in her purse, she checked herself out in the mirror and fixed her blouse before turning back to him.

"I didn't send in that blast about your little teacher." She said matter of factly, this time she almost looked genuine, but that could have just been the sexual daze he was still under.

"No?" Was his only answer.

"No."

"Okay."

A satisfied smile spread across her kiss swollen lips and she bent down to him once again. She left a chaste kiss on his lips, he thought that it might have been considered sweet if it was coming from anyone but Blair Waldorf.

She got up to leave as he continued to lay on the bench, his semi-flaccid cock still hanging proudly from his pants. But soon his mind became unfuzzy as two high pitched screams rang through the small bathroom from the two girls who walked in after Blair.

Yeah, she was definitely a bitch.

_Fin_.


End file.
